Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.
Always remember that however good you may be, the game is your master.
What goes up must come down. But don't expect it to come down where you can find it.
The woods are full of long drivers.
How did I make a twelve on a par five hole? It's simple - I missed a four foot putt for an eleven.
Playing golf is like eating. It's something which has to come naturally.
When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.
Hit the shot you know you can hit, not the one you think you should.
You don't hit anything on the backswing, so why rush it?
Golf is not, and never has been, a fair game.
I accept the fact that I'm going to miss it sometimes. I just hope I miss it where I can find it.
Every golfer scores better when he learns his capabilities.
It's OK to have butterflies. Just get them flying in formation.
Those trees seem to grow every year...
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
If you're stupid enough to whiff, you should be smart enough to forget it.
Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.
You must work very hard to become a natural golfer.
Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.
If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
Golf is golf. You hit the ball, you go find it. Then you hit it again.
The most important shot in golf is the next one.
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
If you try to fight the course, it will beat you.
The best exercise for golfers is golfing.
I have a tip that will take five strokes off anyone's game. It's called an eraser.
Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is - don't.
The mind messes up more shots than the body.
Be decisive. A wrong decision is generally less disastrous than indecision.
For every up in this game, there's twenty downs.
Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy.
The number one thing about trouble is...don't get into more.
I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the right address on it.
Hitting the ball is the fun part of it, but the fewer times you hit the ball the more fun you have.
Don't be in such a hurry. That little white ball isn't going to run away from you.
The last time I had this much fun was a root-canal operation.
Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.
It's [Augusta National] a difficult course and it doesn't make it easier when you have three shanks.
The older I get, the better I used to be.
Golf is like solitaire. When you cheat, you cheat only yourself.
Golf is like a chain. You always have to work on the weakest links.
Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.
Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.
Most people play a fair game of golf - if you watch them.
The good chip allows you to whistle while you walk in the dark alleys of golf.
Keep on hitting it straight until the wee ball goes in the hole.
For this game you need, above all things, to be in a tranquil frame of mind.
Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot.
A perfectly straight shot with a big club is a fluke.
A routine is not a routine if you have to think about it.
Many shots are spoiled at the last instant by efforts to add a few more yards.
Prayer never works for me on the golf course. That may have something to do with my being a terrible putter.
Through the ball we are all the same. We just have different ways of getting it there.
The reason the Road Hole at St. Andrews is the most difficult par 4 in the world is that it was designed as a par 6.
The real success in golf lies in turning three shots into two.
There are two reasons for making a hole in one. The first is that it is immensely labor-saving.
Once bitten, it is akin to having your neck punctured in Transylvania - there is no known antidote.
The terrible beauty is that in the brotherhood of golf we are all the same - certifiable.
The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.
The older you get the stronger the wind gets... and it's always in your face.
Golf is 20 percent talent and 80 percent management.
The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims that he plays the game merely for exercise.
The course of true golf never did run smooth.
Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes.
This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win.
A golf swing is a collection of corrected mistakes.
A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.
I never learned anything from a match that I won.
Golf is like faith: it is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Golf is played by 20 million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
The average player doesn't play golf. He attacks it.
The point is that it doesn't matter if you look like a beast before or after the hit, as long as you look like a beauty at the moment of impact.
Golf is a better game played downhill.
Thinking instead of acting is the number one golf disease.
A man who can putt is a match for anyone.
The better you putt, the bolder you play.
If you're going to miss 'em, miss 'em quick.
The more you play it the less you know about it.
My clubs are well used, but unfortunately not used well.
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.
In golf, as in no other sport, your principal opponent is youself.
Golf is the loneliest of games, not excluding postal chess.
One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.
Never try a shot you haven't practised.
Don Quixote would understand golf. It is the impossible dream.
Golf is a game you can never get too good at. You can improve, but you can never get to where you master the game.
It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it.
A leading difficulty with the average player is that he totally misunderstands what is meant by concentration. He may think he is concentrating hard when he is merely worrying.
Concentrate on hitting the green. The cup will come to you.
Give me a man with big hands and big feet and no brains and I'll make a golfer out of him.
Missing a short putt does not mean you have to hit your next drive out of bounds.
Whatever anyone may care to say about golf, at least one thing is mercifully certain, namely it is a voluntary affair.
The proper score for a businessman golfer is 90. If he is better than that he is neglecting his business. If he's worse, he's neglecting his golf.
I wish to emphasize that there are no secrets to golf.
Golf is a game in which attitude of mind counts for incomparably more than mightiness of muscle.
The game lends itself to fantasies about our abilities.
Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it.
A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.
Golfing excellence goes hand in hand with alcohol, as many an Open and Amateur champion has shown.
If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.
If you pick up a golfer and hold it close to your ear, like a conch shell, and listen, you will hear an alibi.
When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
Golf is a game of expletives not deleted.
In golf, humiliations are the essence of the game.
The last thing you want to do is shoot 80 wearing 'tartan troosers'.
You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.
It is impossible to outplay an opponent you can't outthink.
If you wish to hide your character, do not play golf.
Why do we work so hard to feel so terrible?
A golfer has to train his swing on the practice tee, then trust it on the course.
Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good.
Golf is just a game - and an idiotic game most of the time.
At first a golfer excuses a dismal performance by claiming bad lies. With experience, he covers up with better ones.
Anyone taking up golf has to realise at the outset that it is an appallingly difficult game to play well.
Those who the gods seek to destroy first, learn how to play golf.
The game embarrasses you until you feel inadequate.
Serenity is knowing that your worst shot is still going to be pretty good.
A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors.
All I've got against golf is it takes you so far from the clubhouse.
A well-adjusted man is one who can play golf as if it were a game.
You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.
I never knew what top golf was like until I turned professional. Then it was too late.
My golf is improving. Yesterday I hit the ball in one!
The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.
When you play the game for fun, it's fun. When you play it for a living, it's a game of sorrows.
The worst club in my bag is my brain.
Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective.
Golf is essentially an exercise in masochism conducted out of doors.
Nothing goes down slower than a golf handicap.
It's a heck of a lot harder to stay on top than it is to get there.
If I could have shot 69 in the last round every time, I would have won nine U.S. Opens. Nine!