{"id":1254201,"date":"2024-10-16T17:37:53","date_gmt":"2024-10-16T17:37:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/golftoday.co.uk\/?p=1254201"},"modified":"2024-10-16T18:09:21","modified_gmt":"2024-10-16T18:09:21","slug":"a-golfers-guide-to-annoying-everyone-on-the-course","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/golftoday.co.uk\/a-golfers-guide-to-annoying-everyone-on-the-course\/","title":{"rendered":"A golfer\u2019s guide to annoying everyone on the course"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s what we\u2019ve all been waiting for: the golfer\u2019s ultimate guide to annoying everyone on the golf course \u2014 an extensive how-to for golfers looking to cause a stir among their peers and perfect the role of a course nuisance.<\/p>\n

In this guide, I\u2019ll take you through the key steps to annoying fellow golfers on the course, along with examples so you can head out and start implementing them immediately. So, let\u2019s get to it.<\/p>\n

What it takes to be the most annoying golfer on the course<\/h4>\n

Being the most annoying golfer on the course doesn\u2019t happen overnight. It takes years of blissful ignorance and a complete disregard for your surroundings \u2014 and fellow golfers.<\/p>\n

Golf is a game of tradition, so your first step is to forget everything you ever knew about golf etiquette. Speaking while someone is taking their shot? Give it a whirl. Walking over someone\u2019s line? Absolutely. Deciding whether to help your partner look for their ball? Don\u2019t even think about it.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s little quirks like these that will help you stand out as one of the most annoying golfers to play with, but this is just the tip of the iceberg. To fully immerse yourself in the role, you need to find consistency across the board. If you can do this, you\u2019ll almost guarantee no one will ever want to play with you again.<\/p>\n

Ways to become the most annoying golfer on the course<\/h4>\n

As mentioned above, failing to adhere to any kind of etiquette on the golf course will put you in good stead, but some other niches will place you head and shoulders above the rest.<\/p>\n

1. Mark your scorecard on the green<\/strong><\/p>\n

This is an absolute winner when it comes to getting in the heads of the group behind \u2014 especially if you do it on every hole. People will tell you to mark your scorecard on the next tee to maintain the pace of play<\/a><\/strong><\/span>, but who said anything about considering other people on the course?<\/p>\n

If you really want to push the boat out, mark your scorecard before putting the flag in \u2014 a serious power move when it comes to annoying golfers behind you.<\/p>\n

2. Leave your bag or trolley on the wrong side of the green<\/strong><\/p>\n

Following on from the greenside antics above, another excellent way to really bug the group behind is to leave your bag or trolley on the wrong side of the green, preferably miles away from where the next tee is \u2014 this helps to add an extra 30 seconds to your exit time. Once you get to the bag, be sure to take your time placing the putter head cover back on and, if possible, struggle to put your putter back in before deciding to move on.<\/p>\n

Top tip:<\/strong> If you\u2019re looking for the double whammy, mark your scorecard on the green and leave your bag miles away. This is a surefire way of gradually sending the group behind into meltdown.<\/p>\n

\"A
If the tee box is on the right of the green, go ahead and leave your bag as far away on the left-hand side as possible.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

3. Don\u2019t repair pitch marks<\/strong><\/p>\n

Greenkeepers work tirelessly to keep the greens in the best condition possible for golfers, so why should you do their job for them? Maintaining a course is a difficult task, and everyone who\u2019s playing the course wants their putts to roll good and true, so a little team effort to repair pitch marks goes a long way.<\/p>\n

Not for you. You don\u2019t have the time or effort to repair the damage you made to the green \u2014 just leave it up to someone else to sort out.<\/p>\n

4. Don\u2019t shout fore<\/strong><\/p>\n

Another stalwart in the world of being an annoying golfer is not shouting “fore” when you hit a wayward shot. This one really riles people up, as by not shouting fore, you\u2019re endangering other people on the course. Spray it right? Keep quiet. Send it left? You guessed it, keep quiet. This is a special tactic, as by doing less, you\u2019re doing more to solidify yourself as a nightmare golfer.<\/p>\n

\"A
Not shouting “fore” is a brilliant way to annoy golfers within a shot’s distance.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

5. Don\u2019t rake the bunkers<\/strong><\/p>\n

Similar to not repairing pitch marks, this move shows a real disregard for not only the greenkeepers but also other golfers on the course. There\u2019s nothing more frustrating than finding your ball in the footmark of someone before you who couldn\u2019t be bothered to rake the sand.<\/p>\n

If you find yourself in the bunker, be sure to shuffle your feet in nice and deep before chunking a fat wad of sand from underneath the ball, then simply walk out and head to your next shot. After all, using the rake is optional, right?<\/p>\n

6. Play music aloud on the course<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now, this is one of the more modern approaches to becoming the most annoying golfer on the course \u2014 but boy, is it effective. Two decades ago, you\u2019d have to rely on your refusal to follow course etiquette to gain the title of \u201ccourse clown.\u201d But nowadays, you can amplify that position by playing music through a speaker during the round. The course is supposed to be quiet and peaceful, a place to enjoy the sounds of nature and a good conversation with friends \u2014 so you need to get in there and blast your music for all to hear.<\/p>\n

You could listen to music in your headphones, but by doing that, you\u2019re not imposing on other golfers who categorically don\u2019t want to listen to it. You have creative freedom in what you listen to, just ensure to make it as obnoxiously loud as possible.<\/p>\n

7. Pull your trolley across the green<\/strong><\/p>\n

I apologise if this is a bit of an obvious one, but sometimes the oldies are goldies. In most cases, pulling a trolley across the green doesn\u2019t actually damage the putting surface, but my oh my, does it get under the skin of golfers. As with all etiquette, because there aren\u2019t any real repercussions to the action, there\u2019s no need to follow the rules \u2014 so go ahead and ignore all traditional aspects of the game.<\/p>\n

Top tip:<\/strong> Circling back to the first two rules: if you want to receive an audible reaction or even a complaint to the pro shop, mark your scorecard on the green, leave your trolley miles away, and then walk it back over the green on your way to the next tee \u2014 the holy trinity of sacrilegious behaviour all rolled into one seamless move.<\/p>\n

\"The
Why waste time walking around the immaculately kept green with your trolley when you can just walk straight over it?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

8. Refuse to let a group play through<\/strong><\/p>\n

The conditions need to be just right for this one: there\u2019s no one in front of you, you\u2019re clearly playing slow, it\u2019s a single or a two-ball behind you, and you\u2019ve had multiple windows to let them play through<\/a><\/strong><\/span>.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re to do this right, you also need to ensure that you\u2019re actively ignoring them at every opportunity. They\u2019re waiting on the tee with you? Don\u2019t acknowledge them. You\u2019ve spent 10 minutes looking for your ball? Pretend that it\u2019s not against the rules and refuse to look back at them. The tricky part of this one is that you need to be playing with the second, third, and fourth most annoying golfers on the course to pull it off. If you have just one playing partner who respects the etiquette of the game, they\u2019ll likely wave them through against your will.<\/p>\n

So what have we learned?<\/h4>\n

Well, firstly, if you haven\u2019t realised this is a satirical piece, then I\u2019m concerned about what your actions will be the next time you play, and I don\u2019t want to be held accountable for the nuanced chaos you\u2019re about to cause.<\/p>\n

Secondly, golf is a game to be enjoyed by everyone, and everyone plays their part in ensuring this. The etiquette of the game might seem trivial, but it\u2019s part of the game nonetheless. They\u2019re traditional, unwritten rules that make up the foundations of the sport, and it\u2019s courteous to follow them.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re new to the game, no one will begrudge you a few mistakes here and there, as it\u2019s impossible to know every minutia surrounding the correct golfing etiquette from the get-go. But by sticking to golf\u2019s unwritten rules, you’ll always be in good standing on the course.<\/p>\n

So next time you\u2019re out on the course, enjoy it. But in the words of Neil Warnock, enjoy it by being ******* disciplined.<\/p>\n